It was December 2017 and I had just had my heart broken (again). Determined not to let this break up destroy me, I committed to start 2018 right. I downloaded the Headspace meditation App, I stuck to dry January, I went to the gym 5 times a week, I splashed out at Wholefoods and I have to say, I felt great, so great that on the 8th February my life changed forever…
I went for dinner with my best friend and I expressed how positive I was feeling but what happened next is the last thing anyone would have expected. I wish I could tell you that whilst waiting for my Uber I bumped into the love of my life and we’ve been inseparable ever since but no, this isn’t the movies, this is real life.
I came home, had a hot shower but for some reason I just didn’t want to get out. The hot water just kept flowing and before I knew it so did my tears. What was going on? I was happy wasn’t I? I wasn’t drunk, I hadn’t been triggered, so why could I not stop crying? By 3 am my cry to God or the Universe commenced, with me sobbing: “I didn’t sign up to this life to be alone.” I wish that was my ‘Eat Pray Love’ moment on the bathroom floor but it really wasn’t, there was no epiphany just plain exhaustion….
The next morning I woke up and all was calm, all I could see were my puffy bloodshot eyes. Doing what I do best, I fixed myself up, put on a nice outfit, a full face of makeup and went to work. I’m a stylist and trainer and this was the Friday after an intensive week of training and my delegates were meeting me, their mentor for their end of training celebratory drink. I felt like such a fraud; here I was teaching women to embrace their lives and new career but I was broken inside and now full of guilt for the episode I had the night before. What gave me the right to complain; surely I should be counting my blessings?
When I came home I strangely remembered I had written something in my notebook whilst in my sleep. I couldn’t remember if it was a dream or reality so I opened my notebook and couldn’t believe what was in front of me. I had articulately written the outline of a new course entitled ‘The Cleopatra Effect’.
When I say ‘I’, I must explain this wasn’t me. The writing was so neat, the pyramid diagram so precise, and the language just wasn’t in my familiar tone but here, right in front of me were the 3 steps to teach women how to become empowered.
Step 1: Look within and understand what beliefs are holding her back.
Step 2: Teach her how to overcome any limiting circumstance in her life.
Step 3: Show her how to physically present the best version of herself.
And with a big heart drawn around the words: “Teach your clients how to become beautiful from within” and strongly underlined was “Start with you!”
I later found out this is what you call sleep writing, my subconscious had written it. I wouldn’t have believed it but ‘Cleopatra’ had never been on my radar so I had to believe something bigger than me was calling me to write this course and clearly asking me to become my own student.
‘The Cleopatra Effect’ became my new obsession, every night I would go to bed with my note pad next to me hoping for my next sleep writing moment. Of course, there was no more sleep writing but over the next few days inspiration for course kept on coming….